Love

I was going to sleep, but that's not working out so well so I'll post a blog instead. A thought that I started researching forever ago was love because I wanted to write a really thought provoking blog post. That never happened, and of course because it was so long ago I can't find my notes that I was writing. However, love is something that has come up in my thoughts quite a bit recently and so I think it's time to pour out some thoughts on this electric piece of paper.

So, what is love? Growing up, I never quite understood how people talked about love. "Oh, I just LOVE >insert some food item here< it's my favorite!" Or, how about, "I LOVE those those shoes; they're perfect for my new outfit." Or, "I LOVE the way the information is presented in this book, it's amazing." Or, "I LOVE what you've done with your hair." The lsit goes on and on. So, what does "LOVE" really mean? I've never thought of love as an emotions but rather a choice. It's a choice to follow through with a commitment that you've made, even when a person is driving your crazy. It's a choice to not way away from a difficult situation but instead work it out. It's a choice to be there for someone that is going through a difficult time in their life. Someone posted on my Facebook page, "To me it means caring for others even though you don't feel like it and sharing the joy of eternal life with someone that's lost."

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 states, "Love is patient and kind, love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."

How many times do you use the word LOVE when it doesn't apply? I don't know about you, but I use the word LOVE inappropriately way more than I should. I'm even guilty of some of the above statements myself. I don't like that. I don't want to be saying things that just don't make sense.

This topic is kind of out of the blue. There have been no major changes in my life, still single and not dating, nothing has come up to make me question what love is. However, I've been struggling quite a bit with my depression lately.

Everyone has what I like to call a "love tank". This tank can be ful, or empty, or somewhere in the middle. Everyone accepts love in different ways (the five love languages) and everyone gives love in different ways. If someone is receiving love in a way that is not their love language then their tank starts to empty and is not refilled. I think my tank is pretty low right now, thus the struggle with depression. What I've recently realized is that I'm pretty high maintenance. Not high maintenance in the sense that I needs lots of things in my life or to be pampered, but high maintenance in the fact that I don't have one love language, I have all five. I had a friend once tell me I was like a chameleon, she couldn't figure out my love language; I would always give her and the people around her love in the way that they best received it. We had a good laugh about it, but that moment comes back to me now.

It comes back to me now because I think that there was more information in that little exchange than I realized. The reason I can love people in the way they need to be loved is because I need to be loved the same way. So how is your love tank? I would hope that most people's tanks would be full but I have a sneaking suspicion that there are many people out there running closer to empty. Maybe not you, or people in your family, or your close friends, but there are many people in the world that are alone. Who fills their love tank?

A New Post...Finally

I've wanted to write a new blog post for awhile now. But so many thoughts have been swirling in my head I haven't been able to focus on just one. Music, books, teaching, work, volunteering, friendship, love, growth, and so many other topics are constantly moving in and out of my train of thought and somehow all of them have been centered around God. This has been a major area of growth for me, putting Christ at the center of all things in my life. Now, I'm nowhere near where I should be, but looking back a year ago I am amazed at the works God has done in my life.

A few weeks ago I wrote a new poem. I was at a benefit concert listening to a band play a worship song. I don't remember what song it was, but it reminded me of my salvation and I wrote the poem below. I've been holding onto it, not wanting to share it just yet, and looking at it today it's just as true now as it would have been years ago (if I had read it then) but in a different way. It's a reminder to daily let myself go and to give Christ control of all things. I don't know about you, but being a type A personality I struggle with this on a constant basis. So, I share my poem with you now, not as a remembrance of something already done, but as a reminder of what needs to be done consistently.

True Freedom
I've tried and I've tried
but I've only died
to You I give it all
remove this deathly pall
set myself aside
throw away the pride
the broken pieces mend
no longer do I only fend
Christ is in me
now I am free!

For Those That Asked

It was brought to my attention yesterday that I need to blog more frequently. I really do. Whether I actually post what I type or not I realized today that it's a good release. Since I have not posted in a couple of months this is likely to be incredibly long, but I'll try to keep it as short as possible.

Looking back through old posts I didn't see that I had posted anything about my family. I think this is because I've been in denial about many things that have happened in my life. So, a quick review of family life. In January my grandmother passed away from a very rare form of cancer. I used to stay with her and my grandfather during the summer. Some of my best memories from childhood are sitting up late playing canasta with her, eating a bowl of ice cream or a pickle, and talking about life and what we thought about it. I miss her. In April my uncle passed away from a rare form of leukemia. I wasn't as close to my uncle as I am to some of my other family members but I remember going over to his house as a child for Christmas parties planning what I was going to perform for everyone and then deciding at the last minute that I couldn't stand having everyone watching me. David gave me my first taste of beer, I was 5. Needless to say my mom was not happy with him. In August Carle, my step-dad, discovered that he has a ruptured intestine, not pretty to say the least. The performed surgery to fix it in September. On Halloween he was taken to emergency for his gallbladder. They can't do surgery for that until he finishes healing from the surgery on his intestines, so in January or February he'll be going through surgery again. Last month they found prostate cancer in my grandfather. He'll be having his first laster treatment this week. Oh yea, and Sam moved to Arizona. I really miss my partner in crime, having off-the-wall conversations just isn't the same without him.

Life in general hasn't been to terribly calm either. Over the summer a co-worker at Borders was killed in an accident, her car was hit by a train. Needless to say it was a blow to the Borders community. Those of us that knew her best, that worked with her on a regular basis and hung out with her outside of work were hit the hardest. Last week my doctor passed away. They're still not giving out any information all they're saying is Marsha (his wife) and the kids are ok. I'm thinking it was an accident of some sort but don't know for sure. I know this will sound incredibly cold, but I'm really not looking forward to finding a new doctor. For those that know the history, I still have my cyst problems. I have one rupture about every other month, but the pain is starting to be bearable.

I'm still teaching at the college, I have 5 labs this quarter, and am working at Borders still. I'm busier than ever with Pipeline stuff. I'm still praying for volunteers that want to help with behind-the-scenes stuff. If you know of anyone, please have them contact me. Yes, that was a plug for Pipeline volunteers; I have no shame. My big project right now with Pipeline is I'm helping plan the Family Ministries Christmas party. We have 255 volunteers in Family Ministries and a Christmas party would involve spouses and children of volunteers as well, so we're looking at about 500 people. Now albeit not all of those people will show up, but about two-thirds of that crowd is still 350 people. How do you plan a party for 350 people when you don't have your own church building without spending a small fortune on the thing? I am currently looking for solutions. I am also now leading a small group. I finally listened to God and became a small group leader. So I've added more to my plate, but there's still only 24 hours in a day. Per the little voices in my head and the not so little voices outside my head (Justin, Steven, Beky, my mom) I really am looking to cut back.

However, all of that being said, I am incredibly blessed. I have an amazing group of friends that love and support me. A small group of people I can call at any time day or night that will be there with a shoulder I can cry on or a great big hug to help me calm down. They remind me to put my focus back on God and to hand things over to Him. They are the reason I am still sane, that and a few well-timed trips to Disneyland. Disneyland has been one of my few "fun" outlets lately. Speaking of which, if anyone is still reading this and would like to join me, I am going this Friday, the 14th, for my birthday.

I think that's it. I really can't think any more right now. I'm sure something else will come to mind in the near future. If that happens I'll try to post it.

My Friday

I wrote this last night but I still wanted to post it.

Let me share with you my wonderfully craptastic day.

My day began at 6:30 in the morning. My step-dad was on the way to hospital with a ruptured bowel and my mom needed my help to get her room ready for a sub. So, I got up, threw on some clothes, and headed out the door to a middle school in San Bernardino. I spent an hour there and then we rushed into Riverside to see my step-dad. We got to Riverside Community Hospital at about 9am. My step-dad was checked in at 7:30 am. They still had not done a CAT scan and he had yet to see a doctor. It’s emergency, I can see that they would be a little swamped. I ran home, got a few things and went back to the hospital. I got back around 11am, at which point they were finally doing a CAT scan. I ended up leaving the hospital at around 2:30pm. At the time I had left one doctor had been in (for a grand total of 2 maybe 3 minutes) to give absolutely no information whatsoever and to answer none of the questions that were asked of him. The surgeon still had not been in to see him to determine if he needed surgery or not (I know I’m not a doctor but a body leaking stool out of the abdomen seems like an operation type of thing) and he was still not admitted.

I got home about 3pm, did some stuff around the house, took a shower, and left to meet a friend (Justin) to go see the Riverside Concert Band perform. About 6pm I called my mom to see what was up with my step-dad. They finally had him admitted and in a room. Come to find out the doctor that was in the room for 2 minutes had signed admittance papers but never came back to tell us, they were apparently searching for a room. The ONLY reason they found out he was admitted was because they called the insurance company…THE INSURANCE COMPANY!!!! A surgeon still had not been in to see him. After much haggling of the ER staff it was discovered that they intended to keep him over the weekend to see how he was doing, so he might not see a surgeon until Sunday or Monday. All of this by 6:30 in the evening. At this point, I’ve been up for 12 hours.

After the bands performance we went over to another friends house (Meagan) to hang out, have a couple of drinks and chill. All is fine, we’re chatting, laughing at one another, you know the typical stuff friends do. I have to use the restroom, a natural enough occurrence after an intake of fluids. Well, I forgot I had my cell phone in my back pocket. It fell in the toilet. There was nothing in the toilet, but I washed it off anyway. So now, my cell phone has the battery off, drying out so it will hopefully work again. Good times thus far. Well, around comes 1 in the morning or so. Justin and I decide we should probably take off, so we hug Meagan goodbye and head off. We’re driving back to his place (that’s where my truck is) chatting and talking about the events of the day, including my stupid cell phone mishap, and we finally get back to his place. I take my stuff out of his car, place it on the passenger side of my truck and walk around to the drivers side. Lo and behold, my truck had been egged at some point during the evening. By 2am it was dried, some parts even looked cooked. There was nothing I could do at Justin’s so I drove home. Once I got home I found a bucket and rag, poured some soap into the bucket, pulled out the hose, and washed my truck…at 2:30 in the morning.

So, here it is 3:30 in the morning. I’ve been up for 21 hours thus far. I’m typing this blog in Word because the internet is down right now. I guess I’ll try getting online after a few hours of sleep. All I can do is laugh. Because if I don’t laugh I’m going to burst into tears.

Oh, and my phone is now working! Yea!

I am such a geek

I am currently sitting at the Embassy Suites hotel in Frisco Texas. I've been here since Thursday morning. We were supposed to fly in Wednesday evening but there was a storm. We got diverted to Houston. I have to say it was pretty amazing seeing the lighting in the clouds as we were flying through them. It was slightly scary, but definitely cool looking. Anyway, we got diverted to Houston and landed in Dallas 4 hours after we were supposed to. Then we get to the rental car agency and they have only one car left on the lot. Amazingly we all fit into it, with luggage. God truly does work miracles. We get to the hotel and they had given away one of our rooms so there was only one room for all 6 of us. They shipped 3 of us off to a difference hotel for the evening. Luckily, or rather, by the grace of God, things calmed down yesterday and have been going smoothly since.

Anyway, the reason I'm at the Embassy Suites in Frisco Texas is for a conference. Not just any conference, but a geek conference. I'm here to learn more about Fellowship Technologies. This is the program that our church uses as much as possible. We are always learning new ways in which we can use the program. So, I'm here to learn how to better implement the program. It has been AMAZING! I've learned so much. I've gotten tons of tips on how to better apply functions and how to troubleshoot current problems. I went to an amazing session by Mark Lindsley on how to better format event registration. Online camp sign-ups are going to go so much smoother next year. I'm really excited about what's being covered and how to apply it when we get home.

We actually have tonight off, so we're going to a minor league baseball game. The field sits right behind the hotel, so we'll veg for an hour or so before the game starts and head over and relax and fellowship together.

It's been great! I'm loving it!

Reading

I thought I’d post about what I’m reading. I thought about doing it at the beginning of the New Year, but for some reason never got around to it.

At the start of the New Year I made the decision that I was going to do a daily devotional. I remembered Matt talking about a daily prayer book that he was having the church staff go through, so off I went to the store to see if I could find it. Lo and behold, there is was on the shelf so I picked it up.

However there was also another daily devotional book I saw that looked pretty interesting, so I picked that up as well.

While the first book helps put me in the right frame of mind as far as praying first and foremost in my life, the second book helps me make that connection between a biblical figure and a modern day situation. It’s amazing how often the two devotions overlap to cover the same topic. I think God’s trying to get me to realize something.

About the same time that I decided to start a daily devotion my small group was challenged by our leader to pick one spiritual area to work on and a personal area to work on. Well, my spiritual area was decided upon, daily devotionals to bring me closer to God on a daily basis. My personal area was that I had decided to face my past. I had two books that I had purchased in the past to help me look at how what has happened to me has affected who I am and how I perceive things. So, I decided to start with those two books. The first book I read…

helped me realize the importance of forgiveness. It helped me realize that what I thought was forgiveness really wasn’t and that I still needed to work through some things. The second book I read…

helped me see how I had let my past directly affect who I am today and how I can go about changing that. Not to say that everything is perfectly ok now, but I think I have made quite a bit of progress. I’m still growing and still learning, but the point is that I am growing and learning; I am no longer stagnant in pain.

I finished my second book last week and was at a standstill as to where I needed to go next. Then I was reminded that my goal is to be a Proverbs 31 woman. (For those of you that don’t know, that is my “life verse”.) That brought the question to mind, if my goal is to be a Proverbs 31 woman, shouldn’t I be looking for a Proverbs 31 man? What type of man was the Proverbs 31 woman married to? I had started a “list” years ago but never got around to actually looking at what it all meant. So I decided to find out what a Proverbs 31 man is. I found this book.

This is my third book I will be reading this year. I read the first chapter on Tuesday. My goal with this book is to realize who it is, character-wise, that God would have me marry in the future, and to put into my mind who I should be praying for on a daily basis.

So that is where I am at this point in my life. Prayers for discernment and patience would be appreciated. Yes, I really do want prayer for patience.

Wow, I haven’t written a post this long in quite awhile. For those of you who stuck with it, congrats!

Ugh!

Have you ever been attracted to someone that you know you really shouldn't be attracted to? That's me.

It sucks!

I'm so happy!!

Today, the Finland team returned to Riverside. This makes me extremely happy because my brother was in Finland for 10 days. Don't get me wrong, I'm very glad that he went, but I missed him. I also missed Eddie, a good friend, who gives good hugs, and is like another brother to me. So, I am happy that they are back. And everyone loves pictures, so some pictures follow.

Sam and Eddie when they first got to the gym after driving from LAX
after a 20 hour flight from Finland.

Eddie!

Sam with the gift he brought me from Finland.

My gift!
Finland vodka in Finland chocolate!
They're pretty tasty.

Quantum of Solace

I'm having trouble sleeping so I decided to play online.

I'm probably way late in discovering this, but....A new Bond film is in production! Scheduled release date of November 7, 2008! I'm really, really excited! From what I've read online it is a remake of the 1960 film of "For Your Eyes Only" which originally was going to be called Quantum of Solace. I found a couple of possible posters for the new film.

Thursday Randomness

So, here I sit while a student works on his lab report. I thought I would take the opportunity to write a post on my blog.

I went to Disneyland today. I taught this morning, drove down to Anaheim for a few hours then came back to teach my evening lab. It was fun going for just a few hours, not too overwhelming. I got to go with my friend Bekah and her brother and nieces. It's always a new experience going with little ones.

I had an epiphany the other day, about myself. So now I'm working through this horrible realization I've made about myself and discovering how to change so I can be more Christ-like in my behavior. I think I spent 3 hours straight crying on Tuesday evening between realizing what I was doing and then spending time in prayer asking for forgiveness from God and then going and talking to a friend and asking for forgiveness from that person. Needless to say I was spent spiritually, emotionally and physically by the time I got home Tuesday evening.

And now, I'm going to go pick up the lab room and get ready to go home.

Weekend Fun

This weekend was a weekend of firsts for me. I went to my first concert and I went rock climbing for the first time.

A group of us went to a concert in L.A. on Friday.

L -> R: David, Raylyn, Eddie, Me, Bekah

Us girls dancing.


Sunday after Pipeline we went indoor rock climbing at Hangar18 in Upland.

L -> R: Serena, Me, Eddie, Justin, Bekah, and David

Here we are learning to tie the rope properly so we don't fall to our deaths.

I'm actually climbing! That's Eddie to my right.
(Although I only got about half-way up the wall before I fell)

Let's try this again, shall we.

So, it’s been ages since I last posted. I think I should quit promising to be more consistent in my blog posting and then I don’t have to feel guilty.

Well, life has been quite hectic the last month or so. I’ve been sort of living in denial. My grandmother passed away at the beginning of the month. I have to say, I’m a little jealous; she gets to go home and party and I’m stuck here on earth. But, last week was seriously the best week ever! It was amazing, God blessed me abundantly. I got to share the salvation message with a student (who kept asking me questions!) and I got to share with two, count them 2, fellow professors at the university in the physics department. I got to have a blast with friends on Friday night, and Saturday night. Sunday was an amazing day and I got all the stuff done that I needed to with time to relax. Then after church I went out yet again with some pretty amazing people that I love dearly.

And because everyone loves pictures, here’s some pictures from my life lately...

Meltdown On Main Street!

This is what happens when Elise and I don't get our naps...
We throw temper tantraums and pout in the middle of Main Street at Disneyland.
This one was for you Nathan!

Trip To Roscoes House of Chicken and Waffles!
Don't knock it 'til you try it.

Me, Raylyn, and Eddie

Trina and David...David looks a little psycho,
but I promise he's as normal and the next Pipeline volunteer.

Freak-Out!

So tonight I was standing in the back of the gym during worship because I always stand in the back and a gentleman walked in who looked almost exactly like my dad. I have to admit I panicked for a split second when I thought it was him and felt an immense relief when I realized that it wasn't him. I haven't talked with my dad for over a year. I haven't seen/talked with my dad since I confronted him the week before Thanksgiving last year.

It just goes to show that I still have quite a bit to work through.

Oh yea, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my baby bro! He's 23 today.

I am such a teacher

Meet my new stapler. It is AMAZING! It can staple up to 25 sheets at a time, and you only need one finger to staple. There is practically no resistance when pushing down. Again, it is amazing. I know, I know, I am really showing my nerdiness right now.

I LOVE this story

This was posted by one of my MySpace friends. I really enjoy this story and thought I would share it with you, on the rare chance that you have not seen it yet.

A science professor begins his school year with a lecture to the students, "Let me explain the problem science has with religion." The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

"You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"

"Yes sir," the student says.

"So you believe in God?"

"Absolutely."

"Is God good?"

"Sure! God's good."

"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"

"Yes."

"Are you good or evil?"

"The Bible says I'm evil."

The professor grins knowingly. "Aha! The Bible!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?"

"Yes sir, I would."

"So you're good...!"

"I wouldn't say that."

"But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't."

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. "He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"

The student remains silent.

"No, you can't, can you?" the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.

"Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"

"Er...yes," the student says.

"Is Satan good?"

The student doesn't hesitate on this one. "No."

"Then where does Satan come from?"

The student falters. "From God"

"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"

"Yes, sir."

"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?"

"Yes."

"So who created evil?" The professor continued, "If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil."

Again, the student has no answer. "Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?"

The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."

"So who created them?"

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. "Who created them?" There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues onto another student. "Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"

The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor, I do."

The old man stops pacing. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?"

"No sir. I've never seen Him."

"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"

"No, sir, I have not."

"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?"

"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."

"Yet you still believe in him?"

"Yes."

"According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?"

"Nothing," the student replies. "I only have my faith."

"Yes, faith," the professor repeats. "And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith."

The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of His own. "Professor, is there such thing as heat?"

"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."

"And is there such a thing as cold?"

"Yes, son, there's cold too."

"No sir, there isn't."

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain. "You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees."

"Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.

"What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?"

"Yes," the professor replies without hesitation. "What is night if it isn't darkness?"

"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word."

"In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?"

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. "So what point are you making, young man?"

"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed."

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. "Flawed? Can you explain how?"

"You are working on the premise of duality," the student explains. "You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought."

"It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it."

"Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"

"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."

"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

"Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?"

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided.

"To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean."

The student looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?" The class breaks out into laughter.

"Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir."

"So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?"

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. "I guess you'll have to take them on faith."

"Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life," the student continues. "Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?"

Now uncertain, the professor responds, "Of course, there is. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.

I'm so excited.....

and I just can’t hide it, I’m about to lose control.

So, I’m driving home this evening from the college listening to the “Comin’ On Strong” album by Carman. You’ve more than likely never heard of him, but I grew up listening to him. Anyway, listening to this “blast from the past” started me thinking about a blog Los wrote last week asking what we wanted to be when we grew up. When I read his question all I could remember was that I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up, and I am. However, singing along to Blessed Is He Who Comes, I remembered wanting to be a back-up singer for Carman. I never wanted to be the one that everyone saw, but I wanted to sing. That got me thinking about what I do on Sunday’s. I get to sing every Sunday with Eddie, who is an awesome musician, and I get to work with first through sixth graders and show them how much fun it can be to worship God and that it’s not just about singing a song. How incredibly awesome is that? Then that brought me to the thought that I really can’t imagine being anywhere else in my life. God is AMAZING and has worked things out way better than I ever could have. So that started me thinking about exactly where I am in my life and what I thought (when I was a kid) I would be doing at this point in my life and how it differs, one of those being that I’m still happily single (ok, well maybe not COMPLETELY happy, but pretty happy). Which got me thinking about this guy that I’m attracted to but do not want to date and I’ve been wondering why I don’t want to date him. I mean, he’s a pretty great guy, lots of great qualities. And it hit me, we are way too similar. I need someone that’s going to balance me out and that is not him. So, now I’m home, typing my thoughts, and feeling euphoric about all these little break-through’s I’ve had this evening. Yea for Diana!

Do you ever feel like this?

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

I do.

I've been tagged...

Apparently I've been tagged. Sorry it took me so long Patty. I guess I'm supposed to list 8 interesting things about myself or horrible things will happen to me. Here goes...

1) I am OCD, I have to do almost everything in sets of two. I literally can not have just one chip, I have to have two.

2) I will purposefully sing off key when by myself so that I know how horrible I can sound.

3) I don't like diamonds.

4) Medicine tends to react oppositely of the way it should with me. For example, benadryl hypes me up and my inhaler makes me sleep.

5) I am a Christian AND teach physics, not a common combination.

6) I love to act like a little kid but rarely do for fear of being judged.

7) If something scares me I will do it just because it does scare me.

8) I hate talking on the phone.

Now, who to tag??? I'll tag Grace and Sam.

The Highlight of My Day

So, I get home tonight around 10 and I have a package sitting on my bed from "PW Merchandising". About a month ago I pre-ordered Paul Wright's new cd "Kingdom Come". This package was my pre-ordered cd! The cd I ordered was autographed. I expected just a generic signature of his name. So, imagine my surprise when I opened it up and it was autographed to me.

Not only was the cover autographed, but the cd was autographed as well.

How awesome is that? That an artist would take the time to autograph each cd individually to each person that ordered one. I realize it doesn't take that long to plug in a name but it shows the thoughtfulness of the artist. Another reason why I think Paul Wright is such an awesome artist.

Then about 11 Sam gets home. He hadn't had dinner yet so I went with him to everyone's favorite 24 hour restaurant.
Ok, not really, but it's the only place that's open 24 hours in Moreno Valley. We had the usual nerdy conversations. I think my favorite comment from Sam was, "I knew I studied chemistry for something, dinner conversation." I love my family, we're all such nerds.

Addicted?

Snap had an addicted to blogging quiz on his blog, so I took it.

57%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Mingle² - Free Dating Site

So, how addicted to blogging are you?