For Those That Asked

It was brought to my attention yesterday that I need to blog more frequently. I really do. Whether I actually post what I type or not I realized today that it's a good release. Since I have not posted in a couple of months this is likely to be incredibly long, but I'll try to keep it as short as possible.

Looking back through old posts I didn't see that I had posted anything about my family. I think this is because I've been in denial about many things that have happened in my life. So, a quick review of family life. In January my grandmother passed away from a very rare form of cancer. I used to stay with her and my grandfather during the summer. Some of my best memories from childhood are sitting up late playing canasta with her, eating a bowl of ice cream or a pickle, and talking about life and what we thought about it. I miss her. In April my uncle passed away from a rare form of leukemia. I wasn't as close to my uncle as I am to some of my other family members but I remember going over to his house as a child for Christmas parties planning what I was going to perform for everyone and then deciding at the last minute that I couldn't stand having everyone watching me. David gave me my first taste of beer, I was 5. Needless to say my mom was not happy with him. In August Carle, my step-dad, discovered that he has a ruptured intestine, not pretty to say the least. The performed surgery to fix it in September. On Halloween he was taken to emergency for his gallbladder. They can't do surgery for that until he finishes healing from the surgery on his intestines, so in January or February he'll be going through surgery again. Last month they found prostate cancer in my grandfather. He'll be having his first laster treatment this week. Oh yea, and Sam moved to Arizona. I really miss my partner in crime, having off-the-wall conversations just isn't the same without him.

Life in general hasn't been to terribly calm either. Over the summer a co-worker at Borders was killed in an accident, her car was hit by a train. Needless to say it was a blow to the Borders community. Those of us that knew her best, that worked with her on a regular basis and hung out with her outside of work were hit the hardest. Last week my doctor passed away. They're still not giving out any information all they're saying is Marsha (his wife) and the kids are ok. I'm thinking it was an accident of some sort but don't know for sure. I know this will sound incredibly cold, but I'm really not looking forward to finding a new doctor. For those that know the history, I still have my cyst problems. I have one rupture about every other month, but the pain is starting to be bearable.

I'm still teaching at the college, I have 5 labs this quarter, and am working at Borders still. I'm busier than ever with Pipeline stuff. I'm still praying for volunteers that want to help with behind-the-scenes stuff. If you know of anyone, please have them contact me. Yes, that was a plug for Pipeline volunteers; I have no shame. My big project right now with Pipeline is I'm helping plan the Family Ministries Christmas party. We have 255 volunteers in Family Ministries and a Christmas party would involve spouses and children of volunteers as well, so we're looking at about 500 people. Now albeit not all of those people will show up, but about two-thirds of that crowd is still 350 people. How do you plan a party for 350 people when you don't have your own church building without spending a small fortune on the thing? I am currently looking for solutions. I am also now leading a small group. I finally listened to God and became a small group leader. So I've added more to my plate, but there's still only 24 hours in a day. Per the little voices in my head and the not so little voices outside my head (Justin, Steven, Beky, my mom) I really am looking to cut back.

However, all of that being said, I am incredibly blessed. I have an amazing group of friends that love and support me. A small group of people I can call at any time day or night that will be there with a shoulder I can cry on or a great big hug to help me calm down. They remind me to put my focus back on God and to hand things over to Him. They are the reason I am still sane, that and a few well-timed trips to Disneyland. Disneyland has been one of my few "fun" outlets lately. Speaking of which, if anyone is still reading this and would like to join me, I am going this Friday, the 14th, for my birthday.

I think that's it. I really can't think any more right now. I'm sure something else will come to mind in the near future. If that happens I'll try to post it.

Let's try this again, shall we.

So, it’s been ages since I last posted. I think I should quit promising to be more consistent in my blog posting and then I don’t have to feel guilty.

Well, life has been quite hectic the last month or so. I’ve been sort of living in denial. My grandmother passed away at the beginning of the month. I have to say, I’m a little jealous; she gets to go home and party and I’m stuck here on earth. But, last week was seriously the best week ever! It was amazing, God blessed me abundantly. I got to share the salvation message with a student (who kept asking me questions!) and I got to share with two, count them 2, fellow professors at the university in the physics department. I got to have a blast with friends on Friday night, and Saturday night. Sunday was an amazing day and I got all the stuff done that I needed to with time to relax. Then after church I went out yet again with some pretty amazing people that I love dearly.

And because everyone loves pictures, here’s some pictures from my life lately...

Meltdown On Main Street!

This is what happens when Elise and I don't get our naps...
We throw temper tantraums and pout in the middle of Main Street at Disneyland.
This one was for you Nathan!

Trip To Roscoes House of Chicken and Waffles!
Don't knock it 'til you try it.

Me, Raylyn, and Eddie

Trina and David...David looks a little psycho,
but I promise he's as normal and the next Pipeline volunteer.

Thought Vomit

I've been incognito for awhile now. Not only have I not been posting, but I haven't been reading blogs either. I feel so behind the times. Oh so much to write and so little desire to write it. I had a birthday, it was fun. I went to Disneyland with a couple a friends. I would post pictures, but I haven't gotten copies of pictures yet. One of these days I might actually buy a camera for myself.

But the thing, or rather I should say person, that has really been consuming my thoughts is my grandma. She is progressively getting worse. Sam and I went out for Thanksgiving; we left Wednesday afternoon and came home on Friday evening. My grandma is now bed-ridden. It's so hard to see her in so much pain; I don't want her to be in pain. I don't want her to die, but I don't want her to live in pain. I want her to know that it's ok to let go and I don't think I did a very good job of conveying that to her while I was there. I know I’m part of the reason she wants to stick around. The oldest grandchild (a girl) is still not married with no prospects even remotely close. While we were there we got a call and my uncle is in the hospital, his bone cancer is back again and the chemo isn’t helping this time. Then to top it off the dog (who lives with my grandparents but I raised him) has cancer in his tail bone. My family is cancer happy it seems.

However, all that being said, I am truly doing ok. Emotionally I’m drained from everything that has been going on, but I’m not worrying about anything and I’m not trying to control the situation, I’m giving it to God.

Saturday Musings

It's been an incredibly busy week for me. Although thinking back over the week, not a typical busy week for me when I get into the swing of things. School still hasn't started up for me yet. Classes don't start until September 20th. So all I'm doing is working at Borders (only about 15 hours a week) and volunteering at the church office. I think I've gotten lazy this summer. Although I am looking forward to classes starting up again, I've missed my students.

On another note, last weekend my parents went out to Arizona to see my grandparents.
My grandma decided to go through radiation treatments for her cancer. The doctors are trying to shrink the tumor before they do a second surgery. Because of the type of cancer it is it will be a radical surgery. Apparently the type of cancer it is has cancer spores on the outside of the tumor so when they took out the first tumor (not knowing what type of cancer it was) some spores were left behind which is why a second tumor has started growing. My mom told me it was about the size of a softball. Anyway, when they go in to remove the second tumor not only will they remove the tumor but they will remove a good portion of the flesh/muscle in that area as well. Needless to say, my grandma is very weak from the radiation treatments, and she's very sick as well. I've been trying not to think about it.

It's Almost Friday!

I realized today that I've been slacking on my bloggage. I apologize, although I'm not sure that anyone truly reads my little rants that I type up here. For those of you that do and keep track of my somewhat random life. I went in for my ultrasound today. My next doctors appointment is in two weeks to get the results and see if they cysts have grown or stayed the same or disappeared.

On another health note, if you would please keep my grandma in your prayers. She had a tumor removed a couple of months ago. They've discovered two spots on her lungs (I'm unsure of the sizes) and a new tumor growing in the same area that the first was removed. The type of cancer she has is rare, only 1% of all cancer patients get it and it is resistant to chemo and radiation. We found out last week that the cancer is stage 4.

My Trip

Well, this past weekend, I visited my grandparents in Arizona. We left Friday early afternoon and got back home Sunday late afternoon. This is my attempt at putting together a slide show of the pictures I took (with my phone) while we were driving and once we got there. While driving out there it poured rain for about five minutes and then was all sunny again. It rained on Saturday while we were in Arizona as well. There was a beautiful double rainbow that my little camera phone couldn't do justice to. Anyway, hopefully it works.