For Those That Asked

It was brought to my attention yesterday that I need to blog more frequently. I really do. Whether I actually post what I type or not I realized today that it's a good release. Since I have not posted in a couple of months this is likely to be incredibly long, but I'll try to keep it as short as possible.

Looking back through old posts I didn't see that I had posted anything about my family. I think this is because I've been in denial about many things that have happened in my life. So, a quick review of family life. In January my grandmother passed away from a very rare form of cancer. I used to stay with her and my grandfather during the summer. Some of my best memories from childhood are sitting up late playing canasta with her, eating a bowl of ice cream or a pickle, and talking about life and what we thought about it. I miss her. In April my uncle passed away from a rare form of leukemia. I wasn't as close to my uncle as I am to some of my other family members but I remember going over to his house as a child for Christmas parties planning what I was going to perform for everyone and then deciding at the last minute that I couldn't stand having everyone watching me. David gave me my first taste of beer, I was 5. Needless to say my mom was not happy with him. In August Carle, my step-dad, discovered that he has a ruptured intestine, not pretty to say the least. The performed surgery to fix it in September. On Halloween he was taken to emergency for his gallbladder. They can't do surgery for that until he finishes healing from the surgery on his intestines, so in January or February he'll be going through surgery again. Last month they found prostate cancer in my grandfather. He'll be having his first laster treatment this week. Oh yea, and Sam moved to Arizona. I really miss my partner in crime, having off-the-wall conversations just isn't the same without him.

Life in general hasn't been to terribly calm either. Over the summer a co-worker at Borders was killed in an accident, her car was hit by a train. Needless to say it was a blow to the Borders community. Those of us that knew her best, that worked with her on a regular basis and hung out with her outside of work were hit the hardest. Last week my doctor passed away. They're still not giving out any information all they're saying is Marsha (his wife) and the kids are ok. I'm thinking it was an accident of some sort but don't know for sure. I know this will sound incredibly cold, but I'm really not looking forward to finding a new doctor. For those that know the history, I still have my cyst problems. I have one rupture about every other month, but the pain is starting to be bearable.

I'm still teaching at the college, I have 5 labs this quarter, and am working at Borders still. I'm busier than ever with Pipeline stuff. I'm still praying for volunteers that want to help with behind-the-scenes stuff. If you know of anyone, please have them contact me. Yes, that was a plug for Pipeline volunteers; I have no shame. My big project right now with Pipeline is I'm helping plan the Family Ministries Christmas party. We have 255 volunteers in Family Ministries and a Christmas party would involve spouses and children of volunteers as well, so we're looking at about 500 people. Now albeit not all of those people will show up, but about two-thirds of that crowd is still 350 people. How do you plan a party for 350 people when you don't have your own church building without spending a small fortune on the thing? I am currently looking for solutions. I am also now leading a small group. I finally listened to God and became a small group leader. So I've added more to my plate, but there's still only 24 hours in a day. Per the little voices in my head and the not so little voices outside my head (Justin, Steven, Beky, my mom) I really am looking to cut back.

However, all of that being said, I am incredibly blessed. I have an amazing group of friends that love and support me. A small group of people I can call at any time day or night that will be there with a shoulder I can cry on or a great big hug to help me calm down. They remind me to put my focus back on God and to hand things over to Him. They are the reason I am still sane, that and a few well-timed trips to Disneyland. Disneyland has been one of my few "fun" outlets lately. Speaking of which, if anyone is still reading this and would like to join me, I am going this Friday, the 14th, for my birthday.

I think that's it. I really can't think any more right now. I'm sure something else will come to mind in the near future. If that happens I'll try to post it.

My Friday

I wrote this last night but I still wanted to post it.

Let me share with you my wonderfully craptastic day.

My day began at 6:30 in the morning. My step-dad was on the way to hospital with a ruptured bowel and my mom needed my help to get her room ready for a sub. So, I got up, threw on some clothes, and headed out the door to a middle school in San Bernardino. I spent an hour there and then we rushed into Riverside to see my step-dad. We got to Riverside Community Hospital at about 9am. My step-dad was checked in at 7:30 am. They still had not done a CAT scan and he had yet to see a doctor. It’s emergency, I can see that they would be a little swamped. I ran home, got a few things and went back to the hospital. I got back around 11am, at which point they were finally doing a CAT scan. I ended up leaving the hospital at around 2:30pm. At the time I had left one doctor had been in (for a grand total of 2 maybe 3 minutes) to give absolutely no information whatsoever and to answer none of the questions that were asked of him. The surgeon still had not been in to see him to determine if he needed surgery or not (I know I’m not a doctor but a body leaking stool out of the abdomen seems like an operation type of thing) and he was still not admitted.

I got home about 3pm, did some stuff around the house, took a shower, and left to meet a friend (Justin) to go see the Riverside Concert Band perform. About 6pm I called my mom to see what was up with my step-dad. They finally had him admitted and in a room. Come to find out the doctor that was in the room for 2 minutes had signed admittance papers but never came back to tell us, they were apparently searching for a room. The ONLY reason they found out he was admitted was because they called the insurance company…THE INSURANCE COMPANY!!!! A surgeon still had not been in to see him. After much haggling of the ER staff it was discovered that they intended to keep him over the weekend to see how he was doing, so he might not see a surgeon until Sunday or Monday. All of this by 6:30 in the evening. At this point, I’ve been up for 12 hours.

After the bands performance we went over to another friends house (Meagan) to hang out, have a couple of drinks and chill. All is fine, we’re chatting, laughing at one another, you know the typical stuff friends do. I have to use the restroom, a natural enough occurrence after an intake of fluids. Well, I forgot I had my cell phone in my back pocket. It fell in the toilet. There was nothing in the toilet, but I washed it off anyway. So now, my cell phone has the battery off, drying out so it will hopefully work again. Good times thus far. Well, around comes 1 in the morning or so. Justin and I decide we should probably take off, so we hug Meagan goodbye and head off. We’re driving back to his place (that’s where my truck is) chatting and talking about the events of the day, including my stupid cell phone mishap, and we finally get back to his place. I take my stuff out of his car, place it on the passenger side of my truck and walk around to the drivers side. Lo and behold, my truck had been egged at some point during the evening. By 2am it was dried, some parts even looked cooked. There was nothing I could do at Justin’s so I drove home. Once I got home I found a bucket and rag, poured some soap into the bucket, pulled out the hose, and washed my truck…at 2:30 in the morning.

So, here it is 3:30 in the morning. I’ve been up for 21 hours thus far. I’m typing this blog in Word because the internet is down right now. I guess I’ll try getting online after a few hours of sleep. All I can do is laugh. Because if I don’t laugh I’m going to burst into tears.

Oh, and my phone is now working! Yea!

I figured it out...

Today was my uncles funeral. I didn't attend the funeral because it was in Ohio. I've been having a rough week and I couldn't figure out why, until yesterday evening. My mom called me to tell me that they were putting together my uncles memorial board and she was missing my help. After I got off the phone I realized that putting together the memorial board is how I've dealt with the deaths in my family. When my aunt passed away 5 years ago, I put together her memorial board and put together a disc of music to be played at the service. When my grandmother passed away in January, I put together her memorial board and helped pick out the hymns that would be sung at her service. I have not help in any way with my uncles memorial service. I didn't get to put together the memorial board and I didn't help with the music in any way.

My poor students, I've gotten so frustrated with them this week over little things that wouldn't normally bother me. Hopefully I'll do better next week with keeping my personal frustrations from intruding on my work.

I'm so happy!!

Today, the Finland team returned to Riverside. This makes me extremely happy because my brother was in Finland for 10 days. Don't get me wrong, I'm very glad that he went, but I missed him. I also missed Eddie, a good friend, who gives good hugs, and is like another brother to me. So, I am happy that they are back. And everyone loves pictures, so some pictures follow.

Sam and Eddie when they first got to the gym after driving from LAX
after a 20 hour flight from Finland.

Eddie!

Sam with the gift he brought me from Finland.

My gift!
Finland vodka in Finland chocolate!
They're pretty tasty.

Let's try this again, shall we.

So, it’s been ages since I last posted. I think I should quit promising to be more consistent in my blog posting and then I don’t have to feel guilty.

Well, life has been quite hectic the last month or so. I’ve been sort of living in denial. My grandmother passed away at the beginning of the month. I have to say, I’m a little jealous; she gets to go home and party and I’m stuck here on earth. But, last week was seriously the best week ever! It was amazing, God blessed me abundantly. I got to share the salvation message with a student (who kept asking me questions!) and I got to share with two, count them 2, fellow professors at the university in the physics department. I got to have a blast with friends on Friday night, and Saturday night. Sunday was an amazing day and I got all the stuff done that I needed to with time to relax. Then after church I went out yet again with some pretty amazing people that I love dearly.

And because everyone loves pictures, here’s some pictures from my life lately...

Meltdown On Main Street!

This is what happens when Elise and I don't get our naps...
We throw temper tantraums and pout in the middle of Main Street at Disneyland.
This one was for you Nathan!

Trip To Roscoes House of Chicken and Waffles!
Don't knock it 'til you try it.

Me, Raylyn, and Eddie

Trina and David...David looks a little psycho,
but I promise he's as normal and the next Pipeline volunteer.

Freak-Out!

So tonight I was standing in the back of the gym during worship because I always stand in the back and a gentleman walked in who looked almost exactly like my dad. I have to admit I panicked for a split second when I thought it was him and felt an immense relief when I realized that it wasn't him. I haven't talked with my dad for over a year. I haven't seen/talked with my dad since I confronted him the week before Thanksgiving last year.

It just goes to show that I still have quite a bit to work through.

Oh yea, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my baby bro! He's 23 today.

Thought Vomit

I've been incognito for awhile now. Not only have I not been posting, but I haven't been reading blogs either. I feel so behind the times. Oh so much to write and so little desire to write it. I had a birthday, it was fun. I went to Disneyland with a couple a friends. I would post pictures, but I haven't gotten copies of pictures yet. One of these days I might actually buy a camera for myself.

But the thing, or rather I should say person, that has really been consuming my thoughts is my grandma. She is progressively getting worse. Sam and I went out for Thanksgiving; we left Wednesday afternoon and came home on Friday evening. My grandma is now bed-ridden. It's so hard to see her in so much pain; I don't want her to be in pain. I don't want her to die, but I don't want her to live in pain. I want her to know that it's ok to let go and I don't think I did a very good job of conveying that to her while I was there. I know I’m part of the reason she wants to stick around. The oldest grandchild (a girl) is still not married with no prospects even remotely close. While we were there we got a call and my uncle is in the hospital, his bone cancer is back again and the chemo isn’t helping this time. Then to top it off the dog (who lives with my grandparents but I raised him) has cancer in his tail bone. My family is cancer happy it seems.

However, all that being said, I am truly doing ok. Emotionally I’m drained from everything that has been going on, but I’m not worrying about anything and I’m not trying to control the situation, I’m giving it to God.

ER

Well, I went to emergency yesterday evening and got home about 1 this morning. My cyst broke, although I'm not exactly sure when, probably last weekend. Got a shot of morphine, got a CT scan, then they discharged me. I'm still in a little bit of pain, but nothing like I have been.

Just a little humor to share; following are some of my favorite quotes from the evening...
1) The doctor telling the patient in the bed next to me, "We'll leave no stone unturned," after telling him he probably had kidney stones.
2) Clint asking the nurse/doctor, "Can we use the paddles on her, I want to see her jump."
3) Clint saying, "I'm sterile now!" after washing his hands.

There were many more things that made me laugh, but I can't remember them all right now. Thank you to Clint, Sam, Mom, Carle, Steven, and Bailey for keeping it light-hearted while they tried to find the problem. You all are awesome. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for me, I greatly appreciate it.

The Highlight of My Day

So, I get home tonight around 10 and I have a package sitting on my bed from "PW Merchandising". About a month ago I pre-ordered Paul Wright's new cd "Kingdom Come". This package was my pre-ordered cd! The cd I ordered was autographed. I expected just a generic signature of his name. So, imagine my surprise when I opened it up and it was autographed to me.

Not only was the cover autographed, but the cd was autographed as well.

How awesome is that? That an artist would take the time to autograph each cd individually to each person that ordered one. I realize it doesn't take that long to plug in a name but it shows the thoughtfulness of the artist. Another reason why I think Paul Wright is such an awesome artist.

Then about 11 Sam gets home. He hadn't had dinner yet so I went with him to everyone's favorite 24 hour restaurant.
Ok, not really, but it's the only place that's open 24 hours in Moreno Valley. We had the usual nerdy conversations. I think my favorite comment from Sam was, "I knew I studied chemistry for something, dinner conversation." I love my family, we're all such nerds.