A Hodge Podge of Information

For anyone who may have noticed, I haven’t blogged in quite some time. I feel so out of the loop. Not only have I not posted a blog, I haven’t had time to read any either. Strangely I feel rather disconnected from others. So, to update those of you who I may not have told in person, the side effects of my cysts are starting to disappear. I’m not at drained (both literally and figuratively) as I was. I am almost completely back to my spunky self, to the dismay of my small group leader. I was my normal sarcastic, smart-beep self, but I was also making up for three months of being down, poor Steven got the brunt of it. It is rather wonderful to have energy again. To be able to bounce through the day instead of slowly drag myself around. My students are finally seeing my true personality this week and some of them are shocked. They aren’t sure whether they can laugh at my jokes or not, I should say they aren’t sure if what is coming out of my mouth is a joke or not. It’s definitely entertaining seeing their responses.

Just Give Up

Just give up, that has become my mantra. I’ve been saying it repeatedly since Thursday evening. Just give up. A big part of my issues with my dad are caused by me wanting him to be a dad. I realized he is never going to be a father figure to me. There is too much in the past, there is too much history for him to ever be a dad, a real dad. Just give up. Instead I need to look to God to be my Abba. In life, I just need to give up. Give it all to God, all my “concerns”, all my problems, everything that comes into my life. I need to quit thinking about all the medical stuff going on. Just give up. I need to stop trying to figure out who in my life is “the one”. Just give up. If there’s supposed to be someone in my life, God will bring him into my life. God should be first in my life; I need to give it all to God. Just give up. Stop trying to be strong; stop trying to pretend to be strong and just admit that I am weak and unable to do it myself. God’s strength is made perfect through my weakness.

Chick-fil-A

For some of you it may be hard to believe, but up until today I had never had Chick-fil-A. I probably wouldn't have had Chick-fil-A for quite some time except for the fact that I had an appointment today for my ultrasound in Rancho Cucamonga. (For those of you wondering, the appointment got moved up yesterday.) Well, on my way to the freeway to drive to San Bernaghetto to teach, lo and behold I passed a Chick-fil-A. So, I decided to stop and see what all the fuss was about.
Well, plenty of people have raved about their shakes, so I tried a cookies-n-cream shake. It was alright, kinda runny though. The chicken sandwich I got was pretty good, but not the best thing ever. So, I'm not sure exactly why everyone thinks Chick-fil-A is so great. It was good, but not great;I can't say I would drive out of my way to get it. I don't know, maybe, like Janie's Del Taco experience, I just tried the wrong thing the first time out.

Lion King

Well, I bought tickets for Lion King. I am going to go, on my birthday. I have no idea who I'm taking with me, but I'm going to go. So if anyone has any suggestions of who I can ask, let me know.

Word Vomit

I am exhausted. I am wiped physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. The physical is pretty obvious. I am just losing nutrients on a constant basis and vitamins just don't cut it. Spiritually I am being shown so many things that I need to work on. I took so many notes on Sunday during the sermon, they had nothing to do with the sermon but God just slammed me. Mentally and emotionally I'm being challenged to deal with issues with my dad that I thought I had dealt with but I was really just hiding from them. I think I just need to sit down and have it out with him, but I don't particularly care for conflict, and I know there will be conflict with some of the issues I need to bring up.

On a lighter note, my birthday is next month. I want to go see Lion King at Pantages Theater in LA for my birthday. However, I have yet to buy tickets. See, I wanted to go with someone special, someone who wanted to spend time with me, to get to know me; but there's no one out there like that. So now I'm struggling with wanting to go. I want to go, but I don't know who to take with me; if there's even any tickets left to purchase.

That's my word vomit for the day. Just some random ramblings from someone who is completely clueless.

Ok, Maybe Not

Well, I had yet another doctor's appointment today. They drew blood, and they're trying to get me in for another ultrasound next week. The doctor is calling this time to schedule it, so you know he really wants me in. He put stat on the ultrasound and the bloodwork. Depending on how results turn out I might be going in for a DNC. If that's the case, then I'll have to wait to get my tattoo, darn it! Anyway, if you haven't voted, check 'em out below and let me know what you think.

What do you think?

I’m going to get a tattoo. I’ve wanted one for quite some time and I’ve decided October is the month. For those curious, I’m getting a tattoo in memory of my aunt. She was an awesome woman, who greatly influenced me. She had a rose on her ankle, so I want to get a rose on my ankle. I’m a little stuck on which one I should get. I’ve looked at some pictures online and I’m putting my favorite one’s in and you can vote. Tell me which one you like the best. So, here they are……

(1) The rose with the flame(2) The Plane Rose

(3) The rose with artwork

(4) The rose with a heart, if I get thise one the rose will be red, not pink

(5) The purple rose